My nipple is on Facebook.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
