Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
