love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
