I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
