alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
