standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
