i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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