What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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