Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
