Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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