i need an iv and a liver transplant
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
