Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
