Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
