the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
