thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
