I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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