I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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