I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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