hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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