New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
