i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
