She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
