Having a random hookup so left but love u
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
