my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
wow bdsm is so cute
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
