R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
