We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
