Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
