i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Your penis caused this!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
