I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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