I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
