I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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