He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
