Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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