we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
