Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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