But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
