idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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