Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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