i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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