and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
