No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Found your dick twin last night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My bed smells like the plague
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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