you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
