Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
God, I missed his penis.
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