I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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