apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
