Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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