the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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