she woke up with a sticky ear
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
