i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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