I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
