AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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