i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
