Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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